My Professional and Personal Evolution
I grew up feeling different and despite my popularity, felt as though I did not fit in. I felt the people and world around me lacked depth and sacredness. The conversations people had were not the conversations in my soul. But I didn’t say much and just went along with what my world did to fit in. My voice felt suppressed and I didn’t know who I could share my feelings with. I felt isolated and alone despite being surrounded by people.
My parents divorced when I was 7 years old and I replaced my Father by becoming the masculine support to my Mother and Sister. I was good at counselling and helping others as I could feel them and what they needed. I pushed my feelings to the side to become the rock for my family. This pattern of self and emotional suppression and putting others first, was something I later on in life, spent years undoing.
I tried to fill the deep void within through external substances that never satiated my soul. During my school years, my first addiction was to boys as I sought love and self-worth through them. Then I numbed out my reality through smoking marijuana.
After completing Year 12, I started a Bachelor of Music Theatre in 2001 and graduated in 2003. There I indulged in the creative and expressive part of me but wasn’t really sure how I ended up there as the industry was not something I actually wanted to pursue. The creative expression however brought much joy to my soul so I continued and graduated.
Those three years of dancing and performing however were fought with an inner battle of bulimia as I sought to deal with my self-hate and emotions through binging and purging. I kept this to myself. I ensured no-one knew of my inner struggle. My mask of being the “strong one” became my identity to the point where even I eventually forgot the softer and more vulnerable places within my heart. I was not only stuffing down my food, but my soul’s truth. I buried it deeply. My healing began after two kinesiology sessions during my final year and a huge emotional release that felt like a breakdown. The bulimia ceased from that very moment.
In my last year of University, I trained as a Pilates Instructor and moved into Personal Training and worked in the fitness industry for 7 years working mostly with women. What I enjoyed most about this industry was the personal conversations with my clients. The deep and meaningful conversations that were more like a counselling session than fitness. I gained much insight into their inner world and I started to see similar patterns in my clients. I started to see that genuine health was so much more than just having a fit body and I wanted to know more!
I started to see the inner blocks women had around achieving what they desired. I saw that even when they did achieve their fitness goals, they still weren’t happy. I saw many women follow the same fitness and eating plans and wondered why some would lose weight and others wouldn’t. I knew that in order for me to help my clients further, I needed to delve into the psycho-emotional realms to better understand the mind-body connection and provide an individual approach that cleared the root cause of their weight or eating issues. I didn’t want to simply manage or control symptoms. I wanted to help them heal at the level of the cause. Of course, this was my desire for myself also. Although this desire was expressed through helping others.
My business and pattern of helping others was my newest addiction and I put everything I had into that. My drive for success was actually an unconscious strategy to avoid my deeper pain, which is what 99% of the world does, but does not realise. However, if you would have shared that with me back then, I would have laughed. I was caught up in the common Entrepreneurial trap thinking that worldly success was what life was about. So I became a workaholic seeking approval and validation externally masked through the illusion of ‘helping others.’
During this time in 2005 my health crashed and I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease. I was fighting depressed and didn’t want to be here. This diagnosis along with my prior motivation to help others was the catalyst to propel me onto my healing journey.
In the next 8 years I studied and became qualified in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Life Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Psych-K, Genome Healing, Medical Intuition, HypnoBirthing and Prenatal Psychology. I was a sponge and wanted to learn as much as I could. My internal pain motivated me towards healing. My empowerment dramatically increased and I tapped into superficial levels of happiness driven by the mind.
During that time, I gave up my fitness career and started Coaching people. I started a business called Empowered Birth Australia and became the founding vice-president of the Prenatal Education Association of Australia (which is no longer running) and began speaking to Universities and midwives on Prenatal Psychology and the resulting physiological, emotional, social, mental, sexual impact of our prenatal beginnings. My articles on this subject began to get published internationally.
After three years within that field, the Universe guided me back into the fitness world but from a holistic perspective. I started a business called Holistic Wellness Coaching, while phasing my birth trauma healing and Hypnobirthing courses out. I was asked to run workshops on a holistic perspective of weight-loss and my Think Your Body Slim Program was birthed. This work focused on healing the underlying causes of weight, food and body image issues, and eventually evolved into practitioner training. I was doing a lot of speaking for fitness conferences on that topic, writing articles and running transformational workshops for women. It was a very successful business as a deeper approach to health, fitness, eating issues and weight loss was greatly needed. My goal back then, in 2011, was to have this program within fitness centres across Australia which almost happened, however my soul began to call me in a different direction.
By this time, I had delved into and learned about consciousness, metaphysics, the law of attraction, and quantum mechanics including studying briefly with Nassim Haramein, delving into the quantum theories of black holes and the infinite nature of existence! My coaching sessions had evolved and deepened and I was now clearing the deeper emotional blocks. I was teaching my clients how they could create their reality and the power they had within. I really enjoyed sharing my knowledge in that subject.
Personally, I was very empowered and ‘thought’ I had healed myself despite my present health challenges. Later on in life I realised that all of the intellectual learning I had put myself through, moved me even deeper into my mind, disconnecting me from my feminine essence; my body, feelings and the deeper wounds still present in my womb and heart. I may have known a lot, but I didn’t embody it. I could teach you about love and infinite possibilities, but felt blocked in my body and separate still.
I worked with so many disconnected and disempowered people and I felt called to share this message with a larger audience. It was now 2012 and I felt myself awakening to greater truths within myself that I could not share with others to guide them on this journey. I wasn’t sure of what it would look like; I just knew it was working with large groups of people. I let that desire cultivate within me and prayed for guidance from Source as to what my next step would be in my career. I was guided to go to Bali and met a Grandmaster Shakti Healer who I later discovered is part of my Soul Family and my journey with working with the feminine mysteries and clearing my sacral area and womb slowly began. I started learning about sacred Tantric practices and began practicing with my current partner. 1 month after that, during a mediation I received a clear download as to what my next stage was.
My Life Mastery Seminar and Self Mastery Program were birthed and in January of 2013 I started speaking around Australia sharing my message of Infinite Possibilities, Co-Creation and The New Earth. My 1-day free seminar was centred on themes such as understanding that everything is energy and how by raising our vibration we can self-heal, manifest more of what we desire and awaken. Despite the knowledge being fantastic and in Truth, many of the techniques I taught back then was what I would now call ‘spiritual bypass.’ However, it was during this time that I learned the meaning of service. I gave everything my soul had and shared what I knew in order to awaken and empower humanity.
The abundance I received from giving was incredible. My business and income grew exponentially. During a Shamanic medicine ceremony I had attended, I had been shown the nature of reality, and what Abundance really was. I was show that Abundance is who we are and when we live from this reality/frequency, feeling it from within and aligning our actions in this way, we manifest it externally. During my time of speaking and giving 100% from my heart without expecting anything in return, I started to embody what I was shown and this eventuated in me making half a million dollars each year within 18 months of starting this new business. I learned the real meaning of abundance during those times and it has everything to do with what you give!
During this time, I witnessed 2 miraculous healings. 1 from cancer and 1 from Hashimotos Disease. These women who attended my Self Mastery retreats were so open to receive and knew they could heal themselves and using what I taught them, did. I witnessed the power of Faith and Trust in Source and the healing that can occur when we are truly open to receive and committed to doing the inner work. My heart really began to open through serving others.
During the three years of teaching this, my personal learning on the feminine path deepened however it was not something I had shared with clients at this stage. My connection to Jero in Bali grew stronger and I was initiated in his lineage of Shakti healing. I was guided to various books, programs and teachings around Tantra, Womb Wisdom, The Grail Lineage and Ancient Feminine mysteries including coming across beautiful teachers who guided me and still do within the Magdalene lineage.
However, after three years of service, speaking and teaching around Australia, I had burnt myself out. I had adrenal fatigue and was forced to stop. For approximately 12 months, during 2015, I handed my business over to someone else to run, as I did not have the energy or the motivation to continue. I moved through emotions of disappointment and sadness as I watched everything I had worked so hard to built fall apart as I handed it over. Of course it was divinely perfect and we both experienced beautiful lessons out of this experience however I was forced to let go of my baby, something I found very hard to do.
Stopping was the greatest gift, as it showed me everything within myself I had been avoiding. I spent time in Nature every day, connecting to my feminine centres and deepening my feminine receptivity. My deeper love and relationship wounds held in my womb and heart began to surface. I was experiencing relationship challenges and knew that I needed to heal my feminine self if I was to experience the kind of Love and relationship that my soul desired. I started to understand the meaning of going within and what that actually meant. I had always been successful in business but never in relationships. I was great at pushing love away, attracting the wrong guys and feared commitment. In relation to men, I felt unworthy, grief and deep hurt. Little did I know that I had deeper abandonment, betrayal and separation wounds that were deeply buried preventing me from receiving and giving love in the way I craved. I would heal these two years later.
Stopping forced me to FEEL for the first time in my life and this was the time I learned how to receive by giving to myself what I needed. No longer was I focused on helping other people or being attuned to their needs and desires. No longer was I focused on giving. I only had myself to feel and be present to and the learning pathway of receiving begun. My soul yes “Yes!” to this path and I welcomed the unravelling.
My childhood, ancestral and past life wounds began to surface. I tapped into deep trauma held within my feminine psyche and cellular memory. I saw clearly how this trauma had fragmented my psyche and kept me living in my mind. I was totally disconnected to my body, feelings and my authentic soul expression. I was immensely armoured and it was only through feminine practices that I was able to reconnect to my body, and move from my head and into my body and begin the process of embodying my soul. The healing happened through feeling and slowly, wound by wound, I began to heal the core wounds of abandonment, betrayal and separation. I experienced painful depths within myself and began to open to more of a real love within myself. This path allowed my soul to grow, rather than just my mind. I started to actually feel and embody what I had been teaching for years as well as realise just how many people are not embodied! It was what I’d been searching for literally my entire life; the depth, the truth, the love, and a real path of awakening using the feminine pathway. I began to experience a deeper connection to myself and with people and to all of life. I no longer wanted to leave Earth; I wanted to be here and my willingness to feel everything was what allowed me to heal into wholeness.
By this stage, I was guided to teach Goddess work. I received a download and in a flash of a second, felt the entire collective feminine consciousness and the pain held within it, as well as the collective masculine consciousness and their pain. I felt the separation between the masculine and feminine and the pain of that through history. I saw what needed to occur in order to heal this split and return to unity consciousness. The pain that I felt was immense and I bawled my eyes out.
That moment, along with the healing, wholeness and embodiment that I was starting to feel was something I just knew I had to share. The Path of The Goddess was birthed. It was for women ready to take this deep and profound path into union within themselves and to then experience that with their beloved.
The Path of the Goddess expanded faster than I ever could have imaged. I was putting in the same amount of work as my previous business but receiving double the results. The abundance, flow and ease of sharing this work showed me that it was absolutely aligned with my soul path and that I was meant to share this work.
One year later, I attracted a beautiful loving relationship with a man who is as equally committed to this path as I am, and was the only man I’ve been with, able to meet me at my spiritual depths. Our soul desires were aligned. He had so much love to give me and I was able to receive it as I’d healed the unworthiness. I’d learnt how to receive love through spending all of that time previously alone, and he certainly had a lot to give! He was a reflection of all I had healed within myself.
This relationship took me even deeper into love through our commitment to union and also into everything that was not love. It brought up deeper layers of the Love wounds within me that were ready to be healed and integrated. Experiencing the depths of pain while healing those wounds showed me firsthand why most people unconsciously avoid going there and spend their life doing so much, yet achieving so little in terms of soul growth and awakening. The more I released the resistance to feeling, the more I was able to dive into whatever arose within me and hold space for that part of my shadow that was simply seeking love and thus grow my soul. What felt like reality was dissolved and shattered as deeper layers of understanding emerged. Everything I thought I knew dissolved and a humbleness emerged as I realised how little I knew compared to the infinite creator of the Divine. This openness was a key in opening to receive Divine Love and healing my abandonment would. I healed the parts of me that had felt abandoned by everyone including God and was the driving force for my independence and separation.
The same process occurred for my partner. We committed to our union without any expectation or attachment of the future or being ‘the one.’ We committed to using our relationship for soul growth. Our practice was to face and feel whatever arose within us without projecting our feelings onto one another. The more we healed our wounds the easier this became. We committed to sharing every single dream, desire, fear, fantasy and wound that arose within us. We were and still are completely transparent with each other and this was the key to bringing more of our wounds to the surface, as many of our conversations could have easily broken us up. However instead of running, we chose to stay and feel and heal what was arising. It is a practice of transmuting all that is not love within yourself. And when you commit to this process, it almost becomes a full time job!
Our spiritual practice became feeling whatever arose within the container of our relationship. It brought so much up to the surface. We had many experiences including moments of embodying God (the Divine) during sacred tantric love-making that were so totally profound. These moments were life-changing and really proved to me that through a loving sacred sexual union we are able to experience heaven on Earth within our bodies, here and now. Utopia is not a future idea. It is something we experience in the present moment, as we open our bodies from clearing the deeper wounds so that our soul can embody and we can merge with the Divine. It the process of evolving from the human being to the Divine human; awakening our full potential as humans to be living as Love.
Our only task in this life is to release and clear the blocks to love that are within us. As we clear and release these blocks, we embody our soul and are able to embody more of the Divine Feminine consciousness that is our destiny as women, and the Divine Masculine consciousness for men. And as those polarities merge, union into God-consciousness is the result.
We are living in exciting times where the feminine consciousness is rising, and the masculine consciousness is slowly following suit. The work we do within ourselves benefits the collective and I feel that the best and only way to truly awaken humanity is to awaken ourselves. As above, so below, as within so without.
As we experience union within we can experience it externally within our relationships, with Gaia and with all living beings. Separation dissolves into unity and harmony. This is the Divine Feminine consciousness and allows us to remember our interconnection within the web of life experiencing a greater flow, grace and sacredness throughout our daily experience and interactions. This is the magic that lies within us.
We are being called to delve deep within ourselves and integrate our shadow as we move into unity consciousness; the merging of spirit and matter, sexuality and spirituality, heaven and earth. As we do this work, we become anchors for a higher frequency of Divine Love to be anchored on Earth which positively affects and lifts the whole of the collective and will birth an entire New Earth; a new humanity.
I am so grateful I have come across the Truth on my path. Part of my soul purpose in this life is to share what I have learned with you and to serve you in whatever way I can. We are all sisters (and brothers) on this beautiful planet, and if you feel a resonance with my work in any way, I would love to hear from you and support you on your journey to greater wholeness, health, purpose, abundance and magic!